I need to inventory everything and bring order
more than a year, the dominant thought that haunts me is to eliminate the pain unbearable, fixed part of the spine to branch out along all the joints of the skeleton of my body.
In moments of freedom, of lightness, thanks to the painkillers, try to put my things in order, in view of the possible transfer ... a new adventure ... maybe the last because of the age.
As soon as possible, I will have to change the place and home, to get closer to my children, who are the only people I care in the world.
I'm trying to plan a timetable, to give a rhythm to work to map, organize everything in my home and decide what to delete, before a possible transfer.
to transfer, we will sell this house ... very complicated business, given the times we are living ... and buy another ...
The month of August I started from the "stables". The stables is a ground floor room which was once a small stable that I have transformed in the studio with lots of bookshelves and a small closet. I deleted four trunks full of things from which I never thought of separating fact, when the morning is the truck arrived to take away everything, I'm not ashamed to say that I missed a few tears.
The work has just begun, of course, I'll have to go through a full house, thirty years of life. I can not think of hundreds, perhaps thousands, of books and bags full of typescripts and manuscripts, to be passed and select
... I feel suspended in mid air, exposed, vulnerable to risk the adventure here now because I do not know when it will end , and where and how to spend the last years of my life ... my last earthly adventure ...
are forced, against my will to stop so many activities, among all the blog ... maybe because I need to write to read a lot ... and my brain is busy for most of the day to overcome the pain ...
When I was sick, I was able to stay awake all night to write an essay or reading a book, now I can hardly to address the simplest everyday life: care of them, go shopping, order the house ...
Sometimes, especially in this period, which coincides with the change of season, suffer even more, I'm afraid all points of view, I feel like a prison, no longer free, what is worse I'm afraid of drying up on the floor of the imagination ... And with all the force of the soul I repeat - I'll make it there ... I will do ...
And my daughter Valeria in an e-mail me reassure
- Of course you can do it ... we'll make
-
-YOU ARE NOT ALONE, WE ARE A FAMILY. In families decisions are slow, but the solutions are larger and more effective. The solution found for your house will be enlarged a solution that will allow us to be closer and more united as a family, saving the autonomy of all. Of course to get to find a home takes longer, but until now, when I thought great and the good of all, they came out amazing and successful solutions, which were beyond my means apparent. And 'why not I'm worried about though right now it seems that the conditions do not play in our favor.
There are always great obstacles before big wins.
HAVE CONFIDENCE, FOCUS ON YOUR DREAMS DO NOT LOOK TO THE EXTENT OF APPARENT CIRCUMSTANCES. Fortune favors the brave and good, if you think maybe it took a bit 'but in the end we always win our battles, that's what counts. Hello mommy
We feel
Valery
Paola bell
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